Insert copy Project 1
Speaker 1
[00.00.00]
Unfiltered is a data podcast produced on the lands of the Wedge and Uate people of the new non nation.
We pay our respects to the elders, past and present, and recognize. Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander
people as the first storytellers of this land.
Speaker 3
[00.00.20]
Interview with some kind of cool
Speaker 4
[00.00.22]
story. My podcast is about food and travels around Japan. Each episode is entirely about one of the
movies I’ve been making as a screenwriter. It’s
Speaker 6
[00.00.34]
got me telling a story with other people, so tune in for that.
Speaker 4
[00.00.44]
Pages. She is writing in her diary.
Speaker 5
[00.00.47]
Today is the day of the family barbecue. I am so
Speaker 1
[00.00.51]
excited for this barbecue because the whole, the whole entire extended family is coming over from all
over the state. And we are also a multicultural family. Well, some of us are when it comes to family
outings. I sometimes ends in a family member doing stupid stuff. There was one time at a family
wedding at the wedding, cake exploded. It was like,
Speaker 4
[00.01.14]
don’t ask me how that happened. I wasn’t even the I wasn’t born yet.
Speaker 5
[00.01.19]
I also forgot to mention I have a cat allergy. I know how full of barbecue is. At
Speaker 4
[00.01.24]
Alice’s house, Aunt Alice is frantically vacuuming the house in preparation for the family
Speaker 2
[00.01.29]
barbecue. Oh,
Speaker 8
[00.01.31]
there is so much to do. I have a lot to get done. I need.
Speaker 2
[00.01.37]
We’re not going to go something like this right now. Oh, dear. I’ve heard that you take crap. I really don’t
like to take a look.
Speaker 4
[00.01.54]
At James’s house, he’s on the phone to his brother Adrian. They are both discussing their attendance at
the party.
Speaker 7
[00.02.02]
What do you mean? You want me to pretend to be you? Come on. Work needs me and the family can’t
know I’m missing another barbecue. Anyway, we’re identical twins. No one will be able to tell the
difference, especially grandma party. She still can’t tell us apart. And her memory is going. So what
you’re saying is you want me to go to the party as me and also you? Mate, you owe me big time. What do
I need to bring dessert. And don’t forget your hay fever tablets. You know how you are around Auntie
Alice’s cats. Grandma Patty is calling. I’ve
Speaker 2
[00.02.39]
got to go. Bye. Hello, Adrian. Oh, I have a bad feeling about this.
Speaker 4
[00.02.47]
Back at Grandma Patty’s house.
Speaker 1
[00.02.50]
I can’t seem to remember if the family barbecue
Speaker 4
[00.02.55]
and the family outing is today or next week. I should give Adrian a call.
Speaker 5
[00.03.00]
I remember it’s not as sharp as it
Speaker 4
[00.03.02]
used to be. Now I have to find a telephone. Skip to Auntie Alice’s house. Why do I have so many cats?
What was I thinking? I’m getting too old for looking after cats anyhow.
Speaker 8
[00.03.15]
When Robert is snuggled up, I’ve forgotten the other cats names that I have. Oh my gosh. I should check
the laundry and oh, the cake.
Speaker 4
[00.03.27]
Meanwhile, Adrian is answering Grandma Patty’s call. Oh. Hello, darling.
Speaker 1
[00.03.32]
Oh, uh. Hey, grandma Patty, how are you? I just
Speaker 4
[00.03.36]
need to call and check if the family barbecue is today or next week. Uncle Joe mentioned it, but I simply.
I can’t remember. Will you be there, darling?
Speaker 8
[00.03.48]
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’ll be there. It’s at 12, but. Oh. Oh, no. Work is calling me grandma Patty. I’ve got to go.
See you later. Oh,
Speaker 5
[00.04.00]
okay. Bye, darling. See you later. Mm. Now, what is that phone book? I know it was here
Speaker 4
[00.04.08]
somewhere. I can’t remember where I put the darn thing. Jack, Paige’s older brother is getting ready for
the barbecue. Jack was talking and wasn’t watching where he was going. He trips and falls down two
flights of stairs.
Speaker 7
[00.04.23]
Falling down the stairs to get to me. Jack,
Speaker 5
[00.04.25]
get up from the from the from the stairs.
Speaker 4
[00.04.27]
Oh, that looks like a nice place for a nap. What’s up with my family today? Paige, have you seen where
the bloody tin foil is? I can’t see. I can’t seem to find a stupid bloody thing. We’re going to need it for the
barbecue. He’s always in the same bloody spot. It’s like he’s grown legs and walked off. Ah!
Speaker 5
[00.04.49]
Oh! Oops. Sorry. Jack, I forgot to tell you that, uh, dad had already took the tin foil out of the drawers for
the
Speaker 4
[00.04.56]
barbecue. Oh, by the way, we need some grand wrap. It’s gone. And walked off again. Ah.
Speaker 3
[00.05.02]
Where’s my family today?
Speaker 5
[00.05.04]
Meanwhile, Grandma Patty’s house. I still
Speaker 4
[00.05.08]
can’t seem to find my telephone book. Where did
Speaker 5
[00.05.13]
I put the damn book? I had it in my hand a few minutes ago. Oh, I found my. Oh, wait. No no no no, it’s
not it. That was my late husband’s reading glasses. I have no idea how that ended up in the bits and bobs
Speaker 1
[00.05.28]
drawer. Uh. Uh, well, I just have a bad feeling about today. Uh, what is the time? Oh, I really need to go
now. I have got everything. Oh. Where are my car keys? Uh, what? What did Adrian tell me about the
phone? On the phone? Something about tablets. Mhm. Oh, well, I’ll be I’ll check at the back of the
barbecue
Speaker 4
[00.05.50]
at Auntie Alice’s house for the barbecue. It’s a sunny backyard. Birds chirping, random car horns going
off and a barbecue sizzling. The family is slowly arriving. What a lovely day. I really hope it stays
Speaker 5
[00.06.03]
that way. Especially after. After last
Speaker 3
[00.06.04]
time. What happened the last time I wasn’t here? Please enlighten
Speaker 4
[00.06.08]
me. Oh, uncle Ivan,
Speaker 8
[00.06.10]
remember Uncle Ivan kept mixing up the twins.
Speaker 4
[00.06.15]
Flashback to the last family
Speaker 6
[00.06.16]
barbecue. Hey, Adrian and James. I can never tell you two apart. Who is who again? You’ve got
Speaker 4
[00.06.22]
to be kidding me. You haven’t got it yet. Adrian is the oldest twin by a year. And James’s cat allergy.
Speaker 6
[00.06.28]
Charlie, why do you know about twins so much? We only have two sets of twins in the family.
Speaker 4
[00.06.34]
There are five sets of twins in my class this year. I’m basically an expert.
Speaker 6
[00.06.39]
Oh, oops, I completely forgot about that. Anywho, if you need me, I will be here cooking the sausages.
Speaker 4
[00.06.53]
That is a good thing. You have arrived. The barbecue exploded, Uncle Ivan.
Speaker 3
[00.07.00]
Aha! So that’s why Uncle Ivan’s not here at the barbecue? Because he burnt the sausages the last time he
had a barbecue.
Speaker 1
[00.07.08]
Um, he said no one is going to tell Jack about what happened. Charlie, can you a favor? Sure. What is it
that you’d like me to do? Shut up. Now’s
Speaker 4
[00.07.18]
not the time. Oh, what a lovely day for a family barbecue. Sorry I’m late. Good
Speaker 7
[00.07.25]
afternoon, grandma Patty.
Speaker 1
[00.07.32]
Oh, I’m so sorry I’m late. I had to get some stuff for the barbecue.
Speaker 8
[00.07.39]
That’s not a problem, Adrian. I’ll take you into the kitchen so you can put your food in the fridge.
Speaker 1
[00.07.45]
Thank God no one. I know Adrian.
Speaker 4
[00.07.48]
Hey, guys. Uh, where did you
Speaker 5
[00.07.51]
go? The old lady has disappeared
Speaker 4
[00.07.53]
once again. Paige, that is not nice calling grandma Patty an old lady,
Speaker 8
[00.07.58]
love. You do realize Paige is right and your mom is old Tim. And that Tim. We really need to look for
Tim. My mom
Speaker 4
[00.08.05]
is not old. Mary. Oh, yeah. Where the heck did my mom go?
Speaker 7
[00.08.09]
You owe our daughter an apology about getting mad with Paige. Calling your mom an old lady. Tim,
Speaker 4
[00.08.15]
the car is not going to unpack itself. Take Jack with you and go unload the car.
Speaker 7
[00.08.21]
Right. I should have just stayed quiet when my wife is mad. Jack.
Speaker 3
[00.08.25]
Dad! Where’s mom?
Speaker 7
[00.08.28]
We have to go and unpack before your mother kills
Speaker 1
[00.08.30]
us. What have we done? Why am I being dragged along into the car?
Speaker 8
[00.08.35]
Tim, would you like a hand unpacking the car? Can you pass me what needs to go into the fridge? Oh,
have you seen any of those darn cats? I can’t remember where I saw them last.
Speaker 7
[00.08.45]
Thanks for the offer, Alice. Jack and I have it all under control, and we’ll let you know if we have seen
any of those furry rascals.
Speaker 1
[00.08.55]
Oh, boy. Traffic was a nightmare to get here. No wonder why Adrian gets blamed for being late for
family events. Oh, I hope the cat’s not home while family is here. And they will find me out. Because
Adrian does not have a cat allergy, but I
Speaker 4
[00.09.10]
do. James, it is a good thing that you can join us on this fine afternoon. Where is Adrian? Will he be
joining us any time soon? Uh oh. Uh, no. Auntie Alice is. I know Auntie Alice is wanting to talk to me
now. This is very bad timing. Where is Adrian when you need him?
Speaker 6
[00.09.28]
At home. He’s in when he’s never around. Hopefully
Speaker 4
[00.09.32]
not. Oh,
Speaker 1
[00.09.33]
hey, Auntie Alice, it’s very good to see you. How have you been doing since the last time I was here?
Which was a very long time ago.
Speaker 8
[00.09.45]
Oh, good. Darling. Nice to see you, too. Oh, look, there are the cats. Robert. Oh, wait. No, that must be
snuggles or I’m Jaiden. I can’t remember which one is which.
Speaker 2
[00.09.57]
I don’t know if everyone is going to know that I’m taking Adrian’s place. This is not going nowhere. I
Speaker 4
[00.10.05]
should remind Paige about the cat. Maybe sometime today. Is everything
Speaker 1
[00.10.10]
okay, dear? Do you need a glass of water?
Speaker 4
[00.10.14]
No. Everything’s fine. I’m. Fine. Uncle
Speaker 1
[00.10.20]
Jackson. For something to be ruined.
Speaker 4
[00.10.25]
Bloody cat!
Speaker 8
[00.10.26]
Jason, you are not Adrian. You’re James. Why did you switch? What is going on? Where is Adrian?
Speaker 5
[00.10.37]
What is going on? I missed the last part. Why are we all yelling? I was trying to have another
Speaker 4
[00.10.43]
snap when she interrupted. I can explain. It was Adrian’s idea. Adrian could not make it because of work,
and he asked me to come. Who
Speaker 5
[00.10.55]
are we all talking about? I
Speaker 8
[00.10.56]
can’t remember. We’re talking about Adrian.
Speaker 4
[00.11.01]
Who’s Adrian?
Speaker 5
[00.11.16]
You’ve been listening to unfiltered, another podcast supported by the Department of Communities.here…